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Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
1. Â Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. Â ~ (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Â Find a prostitute and marry her. Â ~ Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)
Ten Reasons Gay Marriages Are Wrong! (Satire)
1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. 2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may…
Questions for Heterosexuals
developed by Martin Rochlin, Ph.D What do you think caused your heterosexuality? When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual? Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of? Is is possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
Pastoral Candidates
The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for our church leader. Adam: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoy walking nude in the woods. Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects….
Advice From Dr. Laura Schlessinger
On her radio show recently, Dr. Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, author unknown. It’s funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing…
Do Gays Cause Hurricanes?
Do “Unnatural” Acts Cause Natural Disasters? Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition, recently warned Orlando, Florida, that it was courting natural disaster by allowing gay pride flags to be flown along its streets. “A condition like this will bring about … earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor,” he said, apparently referring to his belief…