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Four Novice Nuns Were About To Take Their Vows
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them “Brides of Christ.” Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns,…
God Hates Shrimp
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God’s law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We…
Catholic Dictionary
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily 2. Catholic air conditioning 3. Your receipt for attending Mass CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync
Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
1. Β Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. Β ~ (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Β Find a prostitute and marry her. Β ~ Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)
Seniors – Personal Ads
Some “Senior” personal ads seen in Florida newspapers: (Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humor?) FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5’6″), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking…